At least I tried

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
gigglebug
prokopetz

The real reason that sex scenes in traditional fantasy erotica tend to involve bathing in improbably convenient crystal-clear pools is that fantasy writers and readers on the whole are the sort of people who won't bat an eye at wizards and dragon, but would be terribly bothered if the text didn't explicitly address the obvious consequences of whipping one's unmentionables out after spending weeks on end traipsing across trackless wilderness in full amour.